A recent set of events has me reviewing my life and where I am. I’ve been blogging about the comings and goings of the people in my life, but there are deeper emotional changes as well. Let’s face it at fifty-four there is more road behind me than ahead of me. I’m sensing a change is coming and it is going to be a dozy!
For the past two years I’ve been having stirrings to look for deeper meaning in my life. This has taken many forms such as attending church, albeit to bring my cousin (long story). I found solace there and enjoyed the service, but I still didn’t feel like this was it or all of it… I returned to my books on eastern philosophy Taosim and Buddhism. Although I feel closer and more in touch I’m still unsure. I’ve been studying Shiatsu and Pressure Points with my master instructor, this has been gratifying but it is still not the answer I’ve been seeking. In the mean time my business has taken a downturn and CHANGES HAVE TO BE MADE. At first I was getting physically sick with worry over the possible outcomes. Now I’m resigned to take it as it comes. I’ve surrendered.
In my surrendering I have found a sense of peace. The Buddha and Jesus preached about ridding ourselves of attachments. I believe we can’t master our souls when we’re so involved with mastering our assets. I’m reading a book right now that speaks of this very idea. I’m not sure if this book will give me the answer or just more clues for my journey. This statement from the book is resinating deep within my heart; “Service over Success”.
I will close with a passage that got me through my twenties, ironically it was also in the book I’ve been reading; “Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.”- Gail Sheehey
By the way I don’t believe in coincidences, in the mean time I’ll stop and check all the “signs” before I make a complete change in direction.
P.S. This blog is dedicated to my mom who is 78 today she has taught me well…