Chaos Addiction?

I’ve been inconsistent with my posts as of late. This is due to the fact I’m in the midst of Chaos — A Chaos I created. Someone told me once that ACOA (adult children of alcoholics) crave structure but create chaos. I’m assuming it’s because it’s what we’re used to… I guess this is why I’m in the middle of it now.

I recently decided to redo my condo, so I’m in the middle of painting it. I also decided to upgrade my businesses’ Web site, computer system, business software and changed billing companies. So all of these chores are mounted on top of the endless work I have already. None of this includes trying to have a life outside of painting my condo and inputting data into my computer…

What was I thinking? I obviously wasn’t. Maybe having things spiral out of control, is  a crazy addiction to the adrenaline rush from the stress. Thankfully I have understanding friends and a great pair of running shoes!


When To?

Some of the most difficult decisions in my teaching career (and in life) are the “When To’s” . I’m an adult child of an alcoholic and a certified enabler. Therefore I tend to want to do everything, to make it easier or right for the others involved. On the surface this behavior seems rather benign – It isn’t.

Always doing for others especially staff and students, prevents them from experiencing the growth they need. Yet there are times when in order to teach them properly I need to actually do what I’m asking to get done… (I know I’m talking in circles) . This is the dilemma; When to interfere and when to let go?  I’m constantly at odds with myself over this. I want to get what I want the way I want without hurting anyone’s ego.

I know I have to trust my guides and learn from each situation, but it doesn’t make it any easier. For instance  “When To” end this commentary?