Chaos Addiction?

I’ve been inconsistent with my posts as of late. This is due to the fact I’m in the midst of Chaos — A Chaos I created. Someone told me once that ACOA (adult children of alcoholics) crave structure but create chaos. I’m assuming it’s because it’s what we’re used to… I guess this is why I’m in the middle of it now.

I recently decided to redo my condo, so I’m in the middle of painting it. I also decided to upgrade my businesses’ Web site, computer system, business software and changed billing companies. So all of these chores are mounted on top of the endless work I have already. None of this includes trying to have a life outside of painting my condo and inputting data into my computer…

What was I thinking? I obviously wasn’t. Maybe having things spiral out of control, is  a crazy addiction to the adrenaline rush from the stress. Thankfully I have understanding friends and a great pair of running shoes!


Tripping Over My Own Feet…

I can hear my mother saying, “You’ll never learn.”  I believe she may be right – Especially when it comes to over doing…

Seems I can never just train, I have to train like a mad woman. Working on one fundraising effort is never enough how about three! Overbooked and under rested can only lead to one thing… Dis-ease! Thankfully it seems like it will be nothing but a nuisance!

In reality it is the result of a repeated pattern of over stressing myself and not paying attention. How many other times am I going to trip over my own feet?  I guess it depends if and when I’ll ever learn…


Less Time More Organized!

Funny the less time I have to get things done; the more I get done! This is certainly true of these past weeks and especially this week. I’m not sure if there’s a brain enzyme that improves time management when you have less time or seemingly less time. I know adrenaline kicks in during stress the fight or flight phenomenon but I thought that was short term. Anyway what ever it is I need to keep the mojo going for at least another week!

I wish I could be this way all the time, except without the stress…

Gotta go, lots to do!


Angst Giving?

How did a simple celebration of Thanks turn into a holiday of Angst? Because somewhere along the line we lost the meaning. Instead of joining together to celebrate gratitude for what we have. We’ve created ANGST by taking a simple meal and turning it into an event! Spending too much money (we don’t have) for too much food (we’ll waste). All the while feeling resentful for the people we’ve assembled with. This could be for any number of reasons usually because your expectations or beliefs of the day aren’t congruent. Then  you  may have an over controlling stressed out relative who takes the consistency of the mashed potatoes too seriously!

What ever the reason we’ve replaced gratitude and joy with heartburn and migraines! My advice KISS KEEP IT SIMPLE SILLY! Make the bird the star, one dressing, three vegetables one starch and rolls. Pie for desert and play a board game tell each person why you’re grateful for their presence, and Thank God you live in a country that has abundance and ask God how you can share it…



Stepping Back…

Stepping back is a technique I use with my photography to adjust or check my perspective on the subject I’m photographing. It is also something I’m trying to incorporate into my daily life.

I’m finding taking sometime from a situation or a decision, whether it is a moment or a week. Gives me a clearer vision of what to do next. Especially now when hundreds of decisions have to be made in a short time frame. It also helps me control how I’m going to respond to the situation. I feel better prepared and more in control – Even when I have no control. I can control my emotions and how I feel.

I have a dear friend who’s fond of saying ,”Breathe” when things get too stressful. To that sound advice I’d like to add “Step Back and Breathe”.




In Stride…

When a runner is in stride, they are in a comfortable rhythm. One that allows them to run comfortably and efficiently. This takes time and practice to find but once found makes running easier and more pleasurable.

I believe the same is true for our daily lives. We need to practice and allow ourselves the time to find our”stride”.  All too often we take off into the “rat race” that is our lives without any preparation. We get out of bed grab a shower and a cup of coffee and we’re off!

A runner warms and stretches his muscles, reviews his course and plans his stride accordingly. By doing this he prevents injuries, and maximizes both the pleasure and benefits from the run.

Why don’t we approach our day this way? Get up a little earlier review our day, stretch our minds and settle our souls into some sort of rhythm. Better preparing ourselves for the day ahead. How lovely it would be to find our stride and be productive and less stressed at the same time.

So before getting into the starting blocks for the rat race tomorrow, warm up. You may find your stride and win the race!



Knowing No…

Everyone knows a toddlers favorite word to say is no. Toddlers in their desire for independence are constantly saying no or I don’t want to. So how is it a word that came  so easily to us at three is almost impossible to say now?

Is this an example of evolution? In order for us to survive with friends, families, bosses and pets we have lost our ability to say no? Has our desire to please and satisfy everyone else supra ceded our need for sanity and our peace of mind? Have we over committed ourselves to the point of being “committed”?

I believe I’ve lost the ability of Knowing No. In my pursuit to be the good daughter, the best friend, the ideal teacher/mentor, and the model business woman I’ve organized my life around everyone else’s needs and forgotten my own. Until today when I decided enough is enough and told my staff that  NO I won’t be in to train you this morning!

After three weeks of running around with my head cut off and being all things to all people – I put my foot down! Result I was able to block off an entire morning and afternoon to get some much needed rest and work done. I’ve regained some sanity and maybe even some respect from my staff. We’re still meeting but on my terms, and I’ll be fresher and more prepared for the meeting.

So if your in a state of overwhelm connect with your inner three year old and say “no I don’t want to”….


Wait For Me…

How has life gotten so far ahead?  I wake up most mornings at 5am or earlier and still end up rushing – What gives? I often feel like I have been put on pause while the rest of my life kept moving without me and I’m constantly trying to catch up!

With that said, what am I trying to catch up to or with? I’m not sure because I can no longer read all the to dos on my to do list… It’s not just me every day I have friends, clients and coworkers all singing the same tune… “Wait for me!” As time continues to race past at the speed of light while we are still caught in yesterday or as for me last week! I continue to ask myself what am I trying to catch up with???

I’d like to be caught up with paper work, laundry, emptying the trash, sleep, phone calls, reading, friends, projects, you name it .We are all “behind” in one, some or all of these areas. Or are we? Isn’t life made up cycles nothing really ends so how can we “finish”?

Now that I know there isn’t a finish line. I’m going to take a nap – so don’t wait for me I’ll catch you later…



The Race to No Where…

One of my favorite lines from  television is when a character asked another character “How’s the rat race?” – Response; ” The rats are winning!”

I’m in one of those races now except I like to call it the race to No Where! Schedules are tight and overbooked, traffic always seems to be a problem, and Murphy’s Law is in effect the whole time we’re in this race. I’m not even sure if the race is against time, or sanity? Why do we do this to ourselves? We’re in a hurry all the time to go where? What exactly are we accomplishing?  A giant to do list, which probably contained tasks that should have been completed before now. Why do we stress ourselves into overload? We must be delusional! I am. It always seems when I’m scheduling different parts of my life I don’t look a my whole life. The result is like a giant car crash at the 95 split at rush hour; my career , home and personal life meet in a three car pile up. The only solution – The Jaws of Life!

I’m unsure if this blog is more of a commentary or a rant? I will try to end this with a productive thought. When we finally gain control and get out of the Race to No Where – We may realize we are  NOW Here. Amazing what a little space can do to change perspective… Not only with letters but with ourselves. Give your self space to breathe, and appreciate the Here and Now!